| So......again.... posting. |
[16 May 2007|09:35pm] |
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mood |
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 contemplative |
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music |
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Black Flag |
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So I never post. I never comment on other people's posts. I'm sorry. It's like that thing where you have a friend that you want to talk to but you didn't call them back soon enough and now it's awkward because you can't call them now because you'll have to confront the fact that you didn't call them sooner, so you just never call.
I graduated from college. Finally. I officially have a Bachelor's of Science in Psychology. I win at life. I was stoked because my Testing & Measurement/Organizational Psych teacher gave me a hug. I officially know 2 teachers. I have yet to be accepted to law school. I have a job grading standardized (CSAP-style) tests for 3rd grade math. I start on Friday. I'm 90% through an application to the Peace Corps. I want to leave.
Posting here always makes me depressed. It brings back so many bad memories. Or, I guess, good memories that make the memories of the eventual shitty situations so much worse. I mostly avoid everybody for this reason.
My brother is joining the seminary this fall. Please e-mail him and tell him not to.
My dog is an idiot:
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| i wish the snow would stop |
[27 Jan 2007|01:49am] |
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mood |
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fuck |
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music |
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fucked up |
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So here I am. I kinda forgot this existed. I just feel like writing something I guess, my vanity requiring me to make it public. Actually, I don't even know if anyone will read this. Oh well.
I'm sorry. To everybody. It was nobody's intention to alienate me. I just did it myself. Avoiding people, mostly in general, is what I do. It's what I'm good at. It's mostly just been a shitty couple of years, for a number of reasons, so I'd rather just hide out. But I appreciate the random efforts to maintain communication. It's more than I did. So, like I said, I'm sorry. I'm sure mad shit has been talked. Whatever.
This is my last semester of undergrad. It's kinda weird. I've applied to law school and I'm just waiting to hear back. Hopefully I'll be going pretty far away. Unless I get into CU, which is my top choice (chances= slim/none). In which case I'll be going about 60 minutes away.
I have a dog. Nanook. Named for the Eskimo of documentary fame. I'm too lazy to post pictures.
Jen's up at her parents' house watching Casanova. I passed. I have a test on Monday. And freshman math classes to complete. I did, however, ace one of the hardest Statistics classes here. But can't pass Algebra. Jen mostly keeps my sane, but gets pissed at my hiding from everything. Everyone has too much patience with me.
I have crazy boring neighbors who are my age and think that they're much older. They have patio furniture. Who has patio furniture? My parents? I have a broken shovel and a bag of sand for my lawn decor. I have one friend at school. His name is Vu and he likes to gamble. Which, by the way, I do as well. We conducted a psych experiment on risk assessment in Blackjack. Let's just say, we failed to reject the null hypothesis. Oh yeah. A kid needs a vice. Mine is poker. It's a pretty half-assed vice though, as I only play with my parents and in Vegas about twice a year.
Last summer we drove out to Cali in my air-condition-less Jeep and camped up the coast. It was pretty sweet. We dragged Nanook into the ocean (also documented in pictures, still too lazy). Met random people, but decided I'm not camping-folk. I can't stand talking about gas prices and camp site maintenance all day. I can handle Smores though. We went off-roading in what Jen is convinced was sewage. I disagree. On the way back we stopped in Reno and won like $20 in the slots. Which was then spent on gas. We slept in the car for two nights or so on the way back. I almost killed us in Sacramento by being tired, but Jen was asleep and may still not know. We also almost died because it was fucking 108 degrees.
I'm retiring to Big Sur. It's my current favorite place on earth. Cliffs. Water. Mountains. Hery Miller.
I watch re-runs of Scrubs all the time. And Gilmore Girls. But not so much re-runs, as I've seen every episode. I had Netflix but now have Blockbuster's Netflix rip-off to see if it's any better (it's got upsides and downsides). I have completely desensitized myself to media violence with movies such as Cannibal Holocaust and basically anything from Asia.
I've gained a little weight, but not enough to affect my inflated ego. I'm convinced I'm getting stupider. Or more stupid. But I keep positive and pretend I'm street smart, just not book smart.
Ugh. I don't even know why I'm posting this. Nothing to say here.
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| We rule. |
[26 Mar 2005|11:31am] |
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mood |
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 wicked awesome |
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music |
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Tear It Up |
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Exciting stuff. We're playing a fest in LA on July 23rd/24th with a whole bunch of thrash bands like Asshole Parade, Strong Inetention, Deadfall, Reproach, the Fartz and a million more. Funny thing about the Fartz is that they feature the bass player for Guns N Roses. Awkward. But I'm psyched.
Also, vote for GNRP:
 </html>
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| I sold out |
[12 Mar 2005|10:18pm] |
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mood |
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 bored |
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music |
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Robot Whales |
] |
Yeah... I lied. I can't not update.
Once again, I'm hangin out on the internet on a Saturday night. I have nothing to do over spring break. Like... nothing. I'm just hanging out with Jen's dog, but now she's asleep and so is consequently providing me with very little entertainment. Weak. TNC, dog. Give me things to do. Jen's in South Carolina and thus I have no life. My roomates are in a bar somewhere.
What else is up? Umm... I had a show in my basement on Thursday. Instilled, Never Enough and Nehemiah. It was... something. See Instilled if you ever have the chance. That band rules. Law and Order: SVU is on. 25% of my computer's battery is remaining. So bored. I'm sure a million things have happened to me since last time I posted, but I can't remember them. Somebody IM me and be friends.
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[11 Feb 2005|04:31pm] |
Dear Laura and Kelsey,
I love you.
Sincerely,
Ben
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| Rascal crew is in your face..... |
[11 Feb 2005|10:25am] |
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mood |
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 I'm an ass |
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music |
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The Little Rascals |
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So this morning sucked. I did the wrong paper for Anthropology. My paper was brilliant. Maybe not. But for a 100 level class. Anyway, it wasn't the right assignment so I lose five points. And then I get to my car and there's a giant crack in my windshield running from top to bottom. Not cool.
And if you're one of the two people who read this that listens to hardcore, listen to this band: The Little Rascals. So awesome. And they're 16. Why was I not this cool when I was 16? I wonder if their parents know they made this record. Hopefully there's gonna be an interview with them in the upcoming issue of Finish What You Started.....
Ok... tell me if this is an asshole idea: There's this kid, the kid that Jen and I convinced to let us be his mentors. Anyway, this kid is kinda sad. He wears huge glasses (in a non-ironic fashion), a long, school-shooter style leather jacket and doesn't stand up straight. So for our zine, we were thinking that we should turn him into a hardcore kid without his knowledge and document it. He has low enough self-esteem that we can do this. To be called: "Made: I Want to be More Crucial." Possibly the funniest thing ever. Possibly ruining a life. I don't know.
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| I overuse the word "awesome" |
[09 Feb 2005|12:51am] |
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mood |
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 whatevs |
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music |
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Bad Brains |
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Today, I was sick. So I went to my parents house and sucked sympathy. It was awesome. And then I went to Jen's dorm and watched MTV. She gave me an R'N'R demo, a 7" of a band I've never heard of and a 97a cd. Awesome. Tonight also saw the birth of the Finish What You Started zine, to make it's debut on April 6th at the Bane show. Get excited. Don't be retarded.
For some reason I'm writing like I'm in 3rd grade. I'm tired. Shut up.
I can't reach my water bottle. So thirsty.
'Night.
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| When I should be doing homework.... I update. |
[02 Feb 2005|09:43pm] |
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mood |
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 I don't know. |
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music |
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Presto |
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So here's another link to a band: Black Eyes and Neck Ties. Does anyone even click these things? Or even read what I post? Oh well... if you click one of my random band links, click this one. We're opening for em on Feb. 23. They sound like The International Noise Conspiracy mixed with Man...Or Astroman?. Kinda. Just do it.
I talked to Theresa for the first time in like 5 months just now. You remember her. I went to Minneapolis to hang out with her last year. I really have nothing to say about it.
Whatevs. That's all I got.
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| Misc. plugs, apologies and promises |
[02 Feb 2005|03:03pm] |
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mood |
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my life is a messageboard |
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music |
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Saturday Night's Alright for Fighting |
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So Awesome Fest 2005 is confirmed. Us, The Mutiny, Los Sobrios Emputados, Pistols Held High (from New Mexico), and Cur. March 1st at the Club Static. $2. So rad.
I know I've plugged this band before, but Saturday Night's Alright For Fighting is seriously one of the best bands I've heard in a long time. I was just listening to the demo again and thinking about it. I'm gonna buy a walkman solely for them.
Back to real life...
I guess I don't really have a real life. I spent fifteen minutes on the phone last night talking about a messageboard. Speaking of that...sorry to everyone I called when I was bored. I swear you're not my bored friends.
I finally saw The Grudge. It was no Ju-On. I'll tell you that much.
One day, I'll have an entry that means something, I promise.
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| Oh Boy pt. 2 |
[31 Jan 2005|11:06pm] |
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And From Ashes Rise just e-mailed me back and said they do an interview for my zine-age!
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| Oh boy. |
[31 Jan 2005|09:23pm] |
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mood |
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 Positively Positive |
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music |
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From Ashes Rise |
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Today was a good day.
First off, in Anthropology, me and Jen convinced this kid that we were brother and sister and he needed us to be his mentors. See... we decided that, in order to never go to that class again, we had to convince some naive freshman to be our mentee (I don't think that's a word. But you know... the opposite of mentor.. anyway..) and give us all his notes. So this kid sits down next to us and she goes, "Excuse me sir, are you in need of a mentor?" After a rather confusing conversation about his return from the National Guard to his second freshman year, he decides, "Ok... I could use a mentor." I feel bad for him, yet very good for me. I don't have to go to Anthropology.
Secondly, I got to eat dorm breakfast. SO good. And for dinner I made egg rolls. And I don't have class till 12 tomorrow. God damn life is awesome.
And tonight... the singer of DrugXTest e-mailed and asked for a demo. Man, I love DrugXTest.
OH OH... and I cleaned my room. Like, CLEANED my room. I vacuumed. And reorganized and hung up all the posters I had lying around and put away all my clothes. Life rules.
AAaaaaaaand From Ashes Rise is coming on April 21st. Sigh.
I used a lot of "and" tonight. It's that kind of night.
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| Totally lame. Totally not cool. |
[29 Jan 2005|11:26pm] |
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mood |
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 you suck. |
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music |
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Bl'ast |
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God this sucks. A lot.
"Whoa! That dude's got a fake leg!"
"It's called a prostetic. It's not fake. It's actually there."
You're not funny.
God.
Go home.
Remember that girl Katie that my roomate's girlfriend forced me to hang out with a while back? Yeah. She's back. I'm hiding from her in my room. I'm just gonna sit here and listen to Bl'ast.
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| PHONE! |
[27 Jan 2005|04:53pm] |
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I got a new phone! From this millenium! Call me so I can see it in action. I'm out.
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| I apologize in advance |
[25 Jan 2005|02:51am] |
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mood |
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 please come to my show? |
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music |
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Ringworm |
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Ok... I'm gonna start bugging you guys now so you might actually come to this. March 1st, for the premier of Family Guy (not really, but that's what we're gonna pretend), we're playing with the Mutiny and this band from Wyoming called Los Sobrios Emputados. They sing entirely in Spanish. And maybe Pistols Held High from New Mexico. It's gonna be at the Static. Those that have been there know that NOBODY goes to the Static which is why you should really make an effort to hit this one up. If you go to none of our other shows, go to this one. It's only $2. OH.. and we're playing Boulder on Feb. 5th at Club 156. Most of you have no excuse not to go to that one. I've been trying to cut down on the needless band plugs in the ol' lj cause nobody really wants to hear it. But these were necessary. I'm sorry.
As far as real life goes, I think I'm about the same as I was last entry. No, wait.. not last entry. Maybe the one before that. I don't know.
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| Fuck your life |
[23 Jan 2005|01:45am] |
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mood |
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 I'll swallow your soul |
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music |
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This Is Hell |
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Weak. That's the word that sums up this night. Weak. I was supposed to go see the midnight showing of Army of Darkness tonight. First, with Jen. But then she was "too tired" so we rented Wet Hot American Summer instead. But prior to the rent-age, it had been determined that I'd go to the movie with my roomates. Thusly, I leave early to get back in time and upon my return, they say, "Do you just wanna hang out here tonight?" My response? "Weak." I get pissed off, leave the room and that's where you find me now. Sitting here, listening to music on my broken headphones. You don't come between me and Army of Darkness.
Great. Now comes the requisite drunken Saturday night jam session downstairs. Fuckin' lame. I can't even force myself to sleep. The new fun hobby in our house, apparently, is to drink too much (killing all possible talent), play really bad 20 minute songs, record them and brag to me about how awesome they were the next day. They're not awesome. Grow ears.
Gah. Weak.
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| Ew. |
[20 Jan 2005|04:42am] |
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mood |
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Ew |
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music |
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Beastie Boys |
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DUDE... I SO got some girl's number at the bar we played at tonight. Yes, she was drunk. Yes, she was skeezy. Yes, she was over the age of 28. But it was still funny nonetheless. I don't get numbers. She just came up and was like "I was diggin' on some of the stuff you guys were doin. Wanna hang out sometime?" And me being the biggest asshole ever just has to keep it going. "Yeah... I'll come get your number from you before I head off," I say. So we pack. She comes out side to give me the digits and talk to me annoyingly for a while about her escapades as a hairdresser and middle-school teacher hopeful. Putting her arms around me, she starts massaging my shoulders. At which point she notices the x's on my hands. "Oh.. you're an X," she looks surprised, "How old are you?" "20... how old did you think I was? How old are you? Much older than me." She looks blankly at me for a sec and comes back with, "I'm...uh... 25. That's not that much difference." She STILL was after it. EWW! "What are you doing tonight?" she asked me repeatedly. "Going to bed cause I'm tired." Ew. That's really all I have to say on the subject.
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| FORWARD!! (forward!!) FORWARD TO DEATH!! |
[16 Jan 2005|03:41pm] |
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mood |
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 excited |
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music |
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Tear it Up (I can't listen to FTD or they won't show up) |
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So excited for tonight! These bands own. We own. We're taking orders for the d-e-m-o now. Special, one-time-only livejournal friend rate of $2 ppd (free in person). I hate to charge people, but we need money for such things as gas, court costs (yeah.. not paid yet), etc. We're broke. Hella broke. Let me know if you want one.
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| More X-Files re-runs need to be on. |
[14 Jan 2005|03:21am] |
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mood |
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 tired |
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music |
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Negative Approach |
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I'm tired. Our demo is pretty much done, finally. Best demo ever. Myspace is dead and I'm bored. For some reason I can't go to sleep, despite the fact that it's 3 in the muthafuckin' morning and I have to wake up at 8. Wake up myspace, I need friends.
So I hung out with Jen for the first time in 2 months tonight. Not awkward. Not AS awkward as anticipated. More hang-age needs to be done in the future, and possibly a revival of the zine I had for about 3 weeks.
My throat hurts. I'm going to bed.
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| Erg. |
[11 Jan 2005|12:38am] |
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mood |
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tired and sore |
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music |
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I can hear nothing right now |
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We're the most hated band in Denver, I think. Next to them. For reals, I don't think any band has been so enjoyed and so despised all in the same night. Maybe it's cause we're the only good music in this state. Us, The Mutiny and Scott Baio Army. Only things worth listening to here. Mental was wicked awesome, though (they covered my favorite Righteous Jams song). I think this show was almost my favorite that we've played (out of..um.. 4..5?), next to Outbreak. I'm way psyched for next Sunday (Forward to Death, Another Breath, us... I'm not kidding when I say: COME!). Nobody's gonna be there. I hate Colorado. I wanna move. I'm tired of dealing with these people.
Socially... tonight was kinda awkward. Various people that I either hadn't talked to in a while cause I'm an ass or really didn't want to talk to were all there, giving me funny looks, grudgingly talking to me. Yeah... awkward. Just kill me.
Oooo... I just got a coupon for Half.com from Val. Thanks Val.
So tired.
I got new headphones for Christmas and I totally stepped on them last night. It sucked.
That's all I got right now.
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| New AIM name |
[07 Jan 2005|10:31pm] |
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mood |
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 cold |
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music |
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Bl'ast |
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The new secret AIM is xCantTellNo1x .... add it. And IM me.
I have no social skills. I avoid everyone. Someone talk to me.
I suppose I could think up New Year's resolutions. No... fuck New Year's resolutions. I never keep them. No one does. Next year will be the same as last year which was the same as the year before that. Days crawling into weeks until it's December again. Seven more friends lost. Maybe three gained. Or maybe it'll be two this year. Two more people that'll add to next year's seven. Another crush I won't act on until it's too late. Thirty-five more shows, each with the same thirty-five faces, seventy hands in pockets. Another year of knowing what I need to do, what I need to be and watching myself not do it, not be it. One more pair of shoes, three more pairs of pants, and seven shirts that won't fit me right.
But maybe not. This year is different. I know where I'm going. I know who I am. I know who my friends are. I know who and what I can trust. It's clear. So we'll see.
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eatmykungfu's journal